???µ?€?»: gem, howler
Back in the old days, my idea of linguistic fun was tuning in to an interview with former Russian Prime Minister Viktor Chernomyrdin, whose earnest malapropisms were hilarious, charming and often apt. He coined the phrase that is Russia in a nutshell: ?????‚?µ?»?????? ???°?? ?????¶???? ?»???‡???µ, ?????»???‡???»?????? ???°?? ?????µ?????°. (We hoped for the best, but got the usual.)
Another producer of ???µ?€?»?‹ (gems, howlers) is Belarussian President Alexander Lukashenko. He's Eastern Europe's "I did it my way" guy, usually good for a linguistic chuckle (and a human and civil rights frown), and a staunch Russian ally. Well, he used to be. Now — not so much.
The thing is, ?±?°?‚?????° (affectionate term meaning "father") Lukashenko isn't behind the whole Ukraine-is-fascist-gotta-rescue-threatened-Russians story. In fact, at a news conference on Oct. 17 he said: ??‚?? ?¶?µ ???µ ?????‚?»?µ?€?????????°?? ?“?µ?€???°??????! (Come on, it's not Nazi Germany!) He's really not with the program: ?? ???‡?µ???? ?…???€?????? ???‚???????????? ?? ?????€?°?????????????? ???°?€??????. ???µ ???µ?€???‚?µ, ?‡?‚?? ?????€?°?????†?‹ ?„?°???????‚?‹. (I really like the Ukrainian people. I don't believe that Ukrainians are fascists.) Maybe there's a personal reason for this: ?? ?±???»?????µ ?????€?°?????µ?†, ?‡?µ?? ?±?µ?»???€????. (I'm more Ukrainian than Belarussian.)
His theories about the origins of the conflict also contradict Moscow's version. ???????????????‡ ?„?????°???????€?????°?» ???€?°???‹?? ???µ???‚???€, ?‡?‚???±?‹ ???????????‚?? ???????????µ??????. ???? ?? ???‚?????µ ?????? ?µ???? ?? ???€???????°?»?? ???· ???‚?€?°???‹. (Yanukovych funded the Right Sector to get rid of Yuliya Tymoshenko. But as a result they chased him out of the country.) But he does agree with Russia that the Ukrainians are to blame — sort of: ?????€?°?????° ???°???° ???°?»?° ?????????? ?? ?°?????µ???????? ???€?‹???°. ?????¶???? ?±?‹?»?? ?????µ???°?‚?? ?·?° ???µ????, ?° ???µ ?????°???°?‚??. (Ukraine gave a pretext for the annexation of Crimea. They should have fought for Crimea, not given up.)
But he doesn't buy into the whole ???€?‹?? ???°?? (Crimea is ours!) thing: ???€?‹?? ?????€?°???????????? ?? ?????»?¶?µ?? ?±?‹?‚?? ?? ???????‚?°???µ ?????€?°?????‹. (Crimea is Ukrainian and should be a part of Ukraine.)
Maybe that's because Belarus has a few of its own territorial issues: ???????»?µ?????? ?? ?‘?€???????? ???°????, ???? ?‘?µ?»?°?€?????? ?????? ???µ???‡?°?? ???µ ?????¶???‹. (Smolensk and Bryansk belong to us, but right now Belarus doesn't need them.) ?‘?°?‚?????° also has some notions of expansion: ???°?»???????????€?°?? — ???‚?? ?·?????° ???‚???µ?‚???‚???µ?????????‚?? ?‘?µ?»?°?€??????. ?’ ??????? ?µ?‘ ?…???‚?µ?»?? ???‚???°?‚?? ?‘?µ?»?°?€??????. ?? ???‚?? ?????????µ?€?¶?????°??. (Kaliningrad is in Belarus' zone of responsibility. In the U.S.S.R. they wanted to give it to Belarus. I support this.)
Or maybe it's because Belarus doesn't want any more problems with the international community: ?•???»?? ???‹ ???€???·???°?‘?? ?????µ?‚????, ?‚?? ?? ???°???? ?±?????µ?‚ ?‚?? ?¶?µ, ?‡?‚?? ?? ?? ? ?????????µ?? ?????? ???°?????†???????? ?‚???»?????? ?? ?????°???€?°?‚?µ. (If we recognize Ossetia, we'll have the same thing Russia has with those sanctions — only it'll be exponentially worse.) So back off: ???µ ???°???? ???µ???? ?????»?±?°?‚?? ???? ???€?‹????, ???°?? ???‹ ???‚?? ???µ?»?°?»?? ???? ???±?…?°?·????. ???µ ???€???·???°?‘?? ???‹! (Stop pushing me over Crimea like you did with Abkhazia. We won't recognize it!)
But ?±?°?‚?????° is still an unrepentant dictator: ???°???° ???????‚?°?‚???€?° ???????????? ???µ ???µ???°?µ?‚ ?¶???‚?? ?? ?€?°?·???????°?‚??????. (Our dictatorship doesn't prevent anyone from living and developing.) And: ?? ???????‘ ???????????°?€???‚???? ?·?° ?†???????»???·?????°?????‹?? ?????€???? ???µ ???????µ????. (I will not lead my government into the civilized world.) In fact: ?›???‡???µ ?±?‹?‚?? ???????‚?°?‚???€????, ?‡?µ?? ?????»???±?‹??. (Better to be a dictator than gay.)
Well, he warned us: ? ?°???? ?????…?€?°???µ?????? ???????????????‚?????? ?? ???‚?€?°???µ ?? ?????‚???? ?????¶?µ?€?‚???????°?‚?? ?????±???‚???µ?????‹?? ?€?°?·????????. (In order to maintain peace in the country, I'm ready to sacrifice my own sanity.)
Michele A. Berdy, a Moscow-based translator and interpreter, is author of "The Russian Word's Worth" (Glas), a collection of her columns.