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How To Pass the New Russian Language Test

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???????±???‡???°: mistake, minor or major.


I've detected a slight buzz of panic among Moscow's expat community. It seems that a Russian work visa or residence permit will only be issued to those of us who can pass a test on Russian language, culture, history, and even legislation. ?????????°?€! (What a nightmare!)

To help you cram (?·???±?€???‚??), here is a sample multiple-choice (?‚?µ???‚) question: ?§?‚?? ?‚?°?????µ ??????????? (What is ???????????) a) a door jamb; b) a group of birds or fish; c) something crooked; d) a mistake; e) none of the above; f) all of the above. If you guessed "f" — ???°????????! ?????‚?‘?€???°! (Sit down. You get an A). You will pass your exam with flying colors.

?????????? is a funny word. In it you hear ???????? (crookedly), and yet it refers to something that must be straight: ???? ?±?µ???????????‰???? ???€?????°?»???»???? ???????????? ?? ?????µ?€???????? ???????????? (He helplessly fell against the door jamb). Or something that would seem to have nothing to do with straight or crooked: ???????µ?‚???‚?µ?»?? ???»?? ?? ?‚?µ?°?‚?€ ?????????????? (People swarmed into the theater). Or something that is either up in the air or down in the sea: ?›?µ?‚?°?» ???°?? ???°???? ???€?????»?????‹?? ?????????? ?¶???€?°???»?µ?? (A noisy flock of cranes flew over us). ?’?‹???µ?» ?????????? ?»?µ?‰?µ?? ?? ???»?°?????? ???????????»???? ?? ???‚???€?????? ?±?µ?€?µ???° (A school of bream appeared and smoothly swam toward the bank). And the slang usage is equally rich. ?????????? might mean a joint (as in marijuana) or a face (as in ugly mug), but since none of my friends are gangsters, I can't confirm it. I can, however, testify that ?????????? means a goof or gaffe, because I hear, read and use it that way all the time. ????! ?—?°?±?‹?»?° ???€?µ???????€?µ?????‚??, ?‡?‚?? ???€?????? ???µ?????????? ?????·?¶?µ. ?????? ?????????? (Oops! I forgot to warn you that I'd be late today. My bad).

Russian has other words for goofs. ???????±???° (mistake) is the most neutral. Its diminutive, ???????±???‡???°, might mean a minor error: ???????????? ???µ ?????????€???µ?‚ ???‚???»?????‚???‡?µ?????°?? ???????±???‡???° (No one is shocked by a little stylistic error). Or it might mean a great, walloping, horrible mistake that you are trying to downplay. This is a classic linguistic ploy of teenagers: ???°???°, ???????±???‡???° ???‹???»?°. ?? ???????°?», ?‡?‚?? ???°?¶?????°?» ???° ?‚???€?????·?°, ?° ?????°?·?‹???°?µ?‚????, ?‡?‚?? ???°?¶?°?» ???° ???°?·. ?’ ???µ?€?µ???? ???€?µ?·?°?»????. (Dad, I made a little boo-boo. I thought I was hitting the brakes, but it turns out I was pressing the gas pedal. I rammed a tree). Another word easily recognizable to English speakers is ?»?????????? (lapse). It is even more comprehensible to anyone who studied Latin in school, since it is a transliteration of lapsis and is used in much the same way — most often to describe a typo or slip in speaking or printing.

?????‡?µ?€?? ?°???‚???€?° ?±?‹?» ???µ?€?°?·?±???€?‡?????‹??, ?? ???µ?????‚???€?‹?µ ?»???????????‹ ???????°?»?? ?? ???µ?€???‹?µ ?????±?»?????°?†???? (The handwriting of the author was illegible, so several mistakes made their way into the first publication). ?›?????????? has a short-form goof, ?»????, which is slangier and a bit more universal. ?’ ???€?????†?????µ, ?„???»???? ?????¶???? ?±?‹?»?? ?±?‹ ???‡???‚?°?‚?? ?????°?‡???‹??, ?µ???»?? ?±?‹ ???µ ???µ???????»?????? ?»???????? (Overall, you could say the film was successful except for a few blunders).

If you prefer guns to dead languages, you might like the word ???€?????°?… (miss, slip-up) to describe your goofs. ?—?°?±?‹?» ?????????‚?? ???????°?€???? ?? ?????????»???? ???????€?°???»???‚?? ???????? ???€?????°?… (I forgot to buy gifts, so I rushed to fix my blunder). And if you come empty-handed, just say: ?????? ??????????.

Michele A. Berdy, a Moscow-based translator and interpreter, is author of "The Russian Word's Worth" (Glas), a collection of her columns.

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