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He Who Speaks Bad Russian, Stays Long

Wikicommons
????????́?????‹?? ???·?‹́??: wooden language



Yevgeny Parfyonov
Michele A. Berdy

How hard is Russian? Really hard. So hard that a kid who is ???????°?????‚?°?€???? (someone interested in the humanities) almost flunks his school Russian test. He now has ?€?µ???µ?‚???‚???€ ???? ?€?????????????? (Russian language tutor). If this well-spoken, native Russian speaker is ???????µ?‡?????? ???? ?€?????????????? ???·?‹???? (a D-student in Russian), what does that make me?

There aren't enough letters in the alphabet to describe me.

But there are lots of ways in Russian to talk about someone who speaks badly. Sometimes in Russian there is no difference between poor diction and poor word choice. For example, ???»???…?? ?????????€???‰???? (literally, badly speaking) can refer to a child who is picking up language skills slowly, someone with poor diction, or someone who is inarticulate.

???µ???????‚???? (unintelligibly) might mean that someone with poor pronunciation: ???‚???…?? ???? ?‡???‚?°?µ?‚ ?? ?‚?€????????, ???°?? ?±?????‚?? ?????·?????…?° ?µ???? ???µ ?…???°?‚?°?µ?‚, ???µ???????»?????? ???????»?°?????‹?… ???€?????·?????????‚ ?????????µ?? ???µ???????‚???? (He recites poetry badly, as if he was running out of breath, and he pronounces several consonants indistinctly.) Or it can refer to poor clarity of thought, like a boss who shouts: ?? ?‡?‚??, ???µ???????‚???? ?????°?·?°?»? ???°?…?????????? ???° ?€?°?±???‚?µ, ???‹?????»???????‚?µ ?????°?·?°?????? ???µ???µ?€?°?»?????????? ?????€?µ???‚???€?°, ?? ???°?? ???»?°?‡?? ?·?° ???‚??! (Didn't I make myself clear? While you're at work, you carry out the boss's orders. That's what I pay you for!)

Another word for verbal stumbling is ???µ?‡?»?µ?????€?°?·???µ?»??????, a mouthful of a word that aptly means "not making the syllables distinct." You might find this word in scholarly articles: ?’???µ ???€???????µ ???????????????‹ ???????»?? ???·???°???°?‚?? ?»?????? ???µ?‡?»?µ?????€?°?·???µ?»?????‹?µ ?·???????? (All the other hominids can only utter inarticulate sounds.) Or in a romantic novel: ?????° ?€?‹???°?»?°, ???€?µ?????? ???µ???? ???±??????, ?? ?? ???€?????µ?¶???‚???°?… ???µ?¶???? ?????…?»?????‹???°?????????? ???µ?‡?»?µ?????€?°?·???µ?»?????? ?¶?°?»?????°?»?°????. (She sobbed, hugging me tight, and in between weeping she mumbled complaints.)

To make it clear that someone has good diction but bad thought processes, you can use the phrase ???µ ?????¶?µ?‚ ???????·?°?‚?? ???????… ???»???? (can't put two words together). This may be temporary: ???‚ ???‚?€?°?…?° ???µ ???????? ???????·?°?‚?? ???????… ???»???? (When I'm scared I can't put one word after the other.)

Stilted speech is ?????????????‹?? ???·?‹?? (literally, as stiff as heavy felt — ??????????). Officials often speak in ???°?·?‘?????‹?? ???·?‹?? ?€” "government-issued language," aka bureaucratese.

Russians pay a lot of attention to how their leaders speak ?€” are they ?????????????·?‹?‡???‹?? (inarticulate) or ???€?°???????€?µ?‡?????‹?? (articulate)? These two extremes have a nice symmetry to them: ?????????????·?‹?‡???‹?? ?€” speaking haltingly, being tongue-tied, from ?????????µ?‚?? (to be slow or muddle along); ???€?°???????€?µ?‡?????‹?? ?€” speaking beautifully, from ???€?°?????‹?? (beautiful).

A recent study of public figures in Russia showed: ???°???‹???? ???€?°?????‚???‹???? ?????°?·?°?»?????? ?„?µ???µ?€?°?»?????‹?µ ???????????‚?€?‹, ?° ???°???‹???? ?????????????·?‹?‡???‹???? ?€” ?????±?µ?€???°?‚???€?‹. (The most grammatical were federal-level ministers, and the most inarticulate were governors.) But at even the top level: ?????? ???????µ?€???°???‚ ???????? ???????±???? ?·?° 10 ?????????‚, a ???»?°???‹ ?€?µ???????????? ?€” ?? ?????… ?»?????‹ ???°?¶???‹?µ 2,5 ?????????‚?‹ (They make a mistake every ten minutes, but regional heads make a gaffe every 2.5 minutes.)

Another scholar believes that the leaders who stay the longest speak the worst: ?’???µ "?????????µ???‰???µ" ?»?????µ?€?‹ ?????????€???»?? ???»???…??: ???‚?°?»????, ???€???‰?µ??, ?‘?€?µ?¶???µ?? (All the leaders who held onto their posts spoke badly ?€” Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev.)

So if you want to have a fast turnover at the top, vote for the candidate who speaks the best.

Michele A. Berdy, a Moscow-based translator and interpreter, is author of "The Russian Word's Worth" (Glas), a collection of her columns.

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